Life has a funny way of never turning out like we plan. No matter how hard we may scheme or try to control the things around us to make them how we desire, something always seems to go wrong. An unexpected death, finances run out, even just a random drop of bad news can completely derail the plans that we devised for ourselves. It’s in these times that we will either “make it or break it” as the saying goes. I have had more moments and times like this than I would care to admit if I am being honest and many times people will come up and say “Hey, it’s ok God is in control” or “Just give it time it will get better, and you will be stronger because of it.” Now while both of these statements are true, it sure doesn’t help when you are going through it. This summer has been extremely difficult for me. Dealing with circumstances that I had no control over and dealing with a loss that I truly did not think would come. I was blindsided in a way that I was completely unprepared for and that blindside seemed to derail my entire life plan. I began to develop a deep sadness within my innermost being. People around me said what they always say when tragedy strikes but those words seemed to just go in one ear and out the other. I didn’t want to hear it and if I am being honest those words made me resentful at times. I didn’t understand why God would put this kind of pain on a person or allow this to take place. I began to have emotions and issues come up that I had laid to rest years ago. The struggle was real… it was REAL. I know I am not the only person who has felt like this and I know that there are a lot of people who feel this way now but I can promise you one thing: It will get better and there is a reason if we will only trust the Lord and remain faithful to Him. People will fail you, circumstances will fail you, but God, in His unfailing love and mercy and grace, will not. He knows the pain, He knows the hurt, He knows the situation even better than you or I do. I can look back at these last 5 months and see God’s hand at work, saving me from a life of disaster and forcing me to deal with heart issues that, if left unchecked, would have plagued my future ministry. I am finding myself praising God more every day for allowing this summer to happen. Yes, it was hard and yes there were times I thought about quitting but those are the moments where the rubber meets the road, where we are refined and made more into the image of Christ. He is faithful, He is just, He is good and worthy of our trust. I know that there are times when those attributes of God seem far off and hard to believe but just hold on and you will see that He truly does have a plan behind it all.
