Lets Be Real

Time To Be Open....

So I am sitting here, one day out, one more day until everything around me changes, one day until my life gets turned upside down and honestly I don't feel how I expected. I expected to have waves of excitement and anticipation rolling over me filling me with ambition, drive, and, well, excitement but that's not what I feel. Rather I feel nervous, scared, overwhelmed. Now before you say the typical "God's got it", or "You just gotta trust in Him" or the ever popular "Oh Ye of Little Faith" know that I do trust God and I know that He has it all under control and I certainly would say I have faith or else I wouldn't be going but that doesn't change the fact that EVERYTHING around me is changing. Its not just a move like moving in grade school where you still have your family nor like the college move because (for the majority of us) we still move to a campus somewhere in the US and where the majority of the campus speaks English. This move is one where my family isn't coming, I will no longer be in the States, and if the people speak English its very broken and hard to understand. So your probably reading this and thinking "then why are you going?" and the answer to that is because God has asked me to go. I don't know how all this will turn out and the questions of "will they like me?" and "what am I doing?" are very prevalent in the inner chasms of my mind but I guess that is where faith comes in. I'm learning that faith isn't being without fear or uncertainty in how it all will work out, but faith seems to be what we do with that fear and uncertainty. Do we let the fear drive us away or do we continue on into the depths of change and unknown knowing that He is walking before us, guiding our every step, behind us, protecting our 6 from the enemy's attacks, and most of all beside us, lending that hand to hold and cling to in the times when the darkness of the unknown seems to be overwhelming. So that's where I am at right now and even in the uncertainty I will move forward because He has called me and every step I take in the forward motion leads me one step closer to Him and He is my ultimate desire.