When you look around at the church in America what do you see? Do you see a vibrant, joyful, peace and loved filled people who are completely sold out for what they believe or a people that go to church on Sunday and then abstain from His presence the rest of the week? Do you see a people living in true indescribable freedom not just from sin but from everything including the appearance box that we so often find ourselves or a people caught up in having to be seen as good and righteous all the time hiding that secret sin that eats away at their life destroying everything righteous within them? Do you see a people that are going out and giving all they have to spread the gospel and going out of their way to love and aid those in need not because of how it makes them look but because they see that person or group as truly loved and valued by God or a people who sees the homeless man and thinks "they got their because their lazy and if I give them aid all they're going to do is buy drugs"? Do you see a people who are willing to overlook the transgressions of the non-believer and pray for their enemies both personally and culturally (ISIS, Boston Bomber, Homosexuals, Abortion Doctors) or a people who hate and spit fire when they discuss such people and say things such as "I hope God punishes them, they deserve to burn" (Heads up: SO DO YOU and you would if not for the saving grace of God in your life). If you are being honest with yourself my guess would be that much of the time you would see the latter rather than the former. Now I am not saying that their are not those people out there who are the former but the American church in general is the latter.
Now don't get me wrong I'm not saying I am perfect and if I am being transparent and open I would be inclined to say that more often then not I find myself in the second categories and much of the time I hate myself for it. I, like the American church, have made Christianity about me. How do I come across to people? Do I look spiritual enough, do I pray well enough, if asked could I quote enough scripture? Does my past achievements sell me as "holy and righteous" enough and all the while my heart is dying. I have taken God's precious gift and son and made Him an ACCESSORY to my life rather than a lover. I feel that when I accepted Christianity I just traded one set of shackles for another or better yet simply just ADDED chains to my already heavy burden. The chains of LAW, LEGALISM, APPERANCE, and OUTWARD RIGHTEOUESNESS were ADDED to the chains of SIN, GUILT, and SHAME and if that is what true Christianity is then I would have been better off without it. No wonder so many Christians lay down at night dissatisfied with their life, lacking the joy and peace that Christ talked about. No wonder we look up at the stars knowing deep down their has to be more. There has to be something deeper and more intimate; Something REAL.
I am here to tell you that there is more and we can go deeper and are in fact encouraged to but many of us fear what it costs. I am finally to the point where I find myself willing to pay that cost, willing to give what needs to be given to gain the greatest thing my heart could ever seek and that is His presence and anointing. I am to the point where my heart screams "IM DONE WITH ALL THIS CRAP" and by crap I mean trying to always be and do what everyone wants me to. I am done with man's version of Christianity, done with outward righteousness and done with trying to keep my heart shackled under legalism. I am to the point where I am about to sell everything I have and just leave, travel Africa, and spread the Gospel through love. When Jesus sent out the disciples he told them to just go with what they had on their backs and nothing else; To eat what the people gave them and to stay with them, sleeping in the bed provided without complaint. Where are the people in todays church who are willing to just go without knowing exactly how they will get food or shelter??? You may think that's fanatical and crazy but did Christ ask for anything else? I am to the point where I am ready to go all out in worship not caring whether anyone thinks. I am ready to let go of my heart and let the heart that God has changed lead me.
Maybe you are like me and are ready for something more, something real and intimate but you can't seem to find out how to get there. All I can tell you is that I don't have all the answers but I do know the first step is simple and is simply this: Go to God and let Him love you. Something He has been teaching me is that I can't fix myself which is a good thing because He never asked me to. All He asks is that I put myself in the best position to be loved by Him and to experience His love on a daily basis. Now that may mean getting rid of some things in my life that seem to hinder me from Him such as a relationship, alcohol, drugs, porn, or something as simple as a meal and He is not asking us to get rid of them simply because they are bad (which two of those are), but simply because they keep you from Him. He can not entertain sin and if we have blatant sin in our lives and heart then He may not able to fully fill us. He cannot fill what is already full but luckily for us its not entirely our obligation to empty ourselves. HE empties us. When we allow ourselves to be loved by Him and daily sit in His presence fellowshipping with Him not for what He gives but rather for who He is then and only then do we start to find that deeper intimacy we so desperately long for. All it takes is saying Jesus I am willing to surrender and let you love me and not just for a couple minutes out of the day but rather the entire day. Let that become your hearts cry and trust me the more time you spend in fellowship with Him the more that will be your hearts cry. So not it comes down to this: Are you willing?
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